Relationships: Why Do Some People Lose Themselves When They Get Into A Relationship?

You can both have their own lives if two people get together and start a relationship. There will be how one person likes to spend his or her life, and then there will be how the other person likes to spend his or her life.
â By being together, some parts of their lives will naturally change, while other parts will not. What’s obvious is that they won’t have as much time to focus on certain needs as they did before, and that’s because they’re going to spend more time with the other individual.

Adding Something Different

This does not suggest, though, that being in a relationship is going to be something that will have a negative impact on their lives. Some things may need to be put on one side and they may not have as much time to do certain things as they did before, but being with the other person will allow them to fulfill needs that were not previously met.

You will be able to meet the physical needs, as well as the emotional needs. They may even be at the stage of their life when they are ready to start a family, so they will be able to fulfill another need.

Healthy Dependence

And it can make it much easier for them to achieve their goals and be their best self by having someone in their lives on whom they can depend. The help they are given by the other person will allow them to reach out for things they wouldn’t have reached out for before.

What this means is that no one is their own island; in order to function at their best, they need others. These two people will ultimately be a team, and that’s what will enable them to be stronger together.

Two Parts

Having said that, this wouldn’t be the case if they didn’t have their own life, along with what they do together. That’s why making sure they don’t forget the things they were doing before they got together is going to be important for them-that’s, of course, unless it’s about something that’s no longer appropriate.

Their relationship will add to who they are, making it easier for them to do their best when they’re not together, and adding to the relationship will be what they do when they’re not together. Then both parts of your life will be significant.

A Key Part

If they could not continue to pay attention to other areas of their lives, they would be radically different in their marriage. But because they have good boundaries, the reason they can focus on other areas of their lives, even though they are with someone, is probably due.

We both know where we start and end, and where the other begins and ends. This will allow them to retain their sense of self while being able to share with the other person who they are.

Another Scenario

That doesn’t mean that they’re never going to lose who they are; what it means is that this won’t be the rule. While this is how some relationships will be, there will be plenty of other relationships that will work differently.

There will be partnerships where one person ends up doing what they want the other person to do and what they feel they want them to do. There would have been two men in the beginning, but this would have changed as time went by.

Out of Touch

One of them will then behave as if they are nothing more than their partner’s extension. Then their partner won’t be another part of their world-they’ll be their world’s center.

A actions would slowly have changed to accommodate the needs of the other person, and this will inevitably lead them to ignore themselves. Therefore, as the days, weeks, and months passed, they would eventually have become disconnected from their true self.

The Main Purpose

Their main priority may have been to do whatever they could to please them once they met this person. That’s probably something they haven’t been fully aware of.

In the beginning, pleasing the other person will have made them feel good, yet there is a chance that their emotional state will have changed as time goes by. They may be used to feel trapped, weak, helpless, and angry when they’re with this man, among other things.

What’s going on?

What this is likely to show is that when they get close to another person, they feel that it is not safe for them to be the principal who they are. It’s what will feel safe to disconnect from who they are and focus on the needs of another person.

It can be difficult to understand why this would be the case as one is an adult; after all, it is not as if they need this person to survive. Hoverer, the reason they behave as an adult in this way is probably due to what happened during their early years.


This may have been a time in their lives when they had to concentrate on the needs of their caregiver, overlooking their needs. They may have been abandoned or even harmed if they hadn’t done this.

Getting handled in this way would have discouraged them from having a strong sense of self. It would have caused them to believe that in order to survive, they need to focus on the needs of others.


Behaving in this way would have kept them alive as a child, but now that they are an adult, they are unnecessarily suffering. Our needs are as important as the needs of anybody else.
If somebody can relate to this, they may need to get a psychologist or a healer’s aid.

Oliver JR Cooper, an educator, prolific writer, editor, and coach, is from England. His informative commentary and study covers all aspects of human development, including marriage, friendship, self-love, and inner consciousness. Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice, with more than one thousand eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour.

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